Mottos from the Web

"It probably sounded better in the original German" -Molly Ivins comments on Pat Buchanaan's speech at the last Republican conference

To know a person's religion we need not listen to his profession of faith but must find his brand of intolerance. * Eric Hoffer (1902-83), "The Passionate State of Mind", aph. 215 (1955). *

Anticipation of death is worse than death itself. Inverse: Anticipation of sex is better than sex itself.

A society without religion is like a crazed psychopath without a loaded .45

"Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something." --William Goldman, The Princess Bride

"Live as one already dead." --Japanese saying

At the core of all well-founded belief lies belief that is unfounded - Wittgenstein

"Poi s'accose nel foco che gli affina" - Dante

Law of conservation of confusion : The total amount of confusion in this world remains constant. It just gets shifted around.

For every difficult and complicated question there is an answer that is simple, easily understood, and wrong. H.L. Mencken

"A stand can be made against invasion by an army; no stand can be made against invasion by an idea." --Victor Hugo

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, magic in it. --- Goethe

The problem with instant gratification is that it takes too long...

Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away . --George Eliot

* "Nonsense is nonsense, * * but the history of nonsense * * is a very important science." * * - R' Saul Lieberman z"l *

I live in fear of not being misunderstood.-- Oscar wilde

You can talk MIPS, MFLOPS, feature points and cyclomatic complexity all day long. The only metric that matters is Return on Investment.

Good writers borrow from others. Great writers, they steal.

Television is chewing gum for the eyes. -- Frank Lloyd Wright

Remember, if you want to run with the big dogs, you need to learn how to pee in the tall grass.

A Zen Master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they pissed me off.

Never let your schooling interfere with your education - Mark Twain

"Are you criminally deranged, or simply bad at expressing yourself?"

The only acceptable doctrine of exclusion excludes all who exclude.

Some people never see the light till it shines thru bullet holes. -Bruce Cockburn

It doesn't TAKE all kinds, we just HAVE all kinds

I blame society for anything I've said that you disagree with.

Beware of geeks bearing gifs.

"Collaboration is essential: It allows you to blame someone else"

The human brain is a complex organ with the wonderful power of enabling man to find reasons for continuing to believe whatever it is that he wants to believe. -Voltaire

People are the only mirror we have to see ourselves in. Lois McMaster Bujold, _Mirror Dance_

Read my MIPs - no new VAXes

I try to keep an open mind, but not so open my brains fall out.

"Always sleep on your stomach !" John Wayne Bobbitt

"If you owe $50 you're a delinquent account. If you owe $50,000 you're a small businessman. If you owe $50 million you're a corporation. If you owe $50 BILLION you're the government." ---Lynne Thompson Whittaker

In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.

It's vacuumware. As Dennis Ritchie said of X, "Sometimes when you fill a vacuum, it still sucks"".

Every time that I think I'm wrong, I realize that I was mistaken

You can lead a man to politics, but you can't make him think.

Mere performance is no match for appearance.

If you can keep your head when all around are losing theirs, you're probably the executioner.

In a dictatorship, people suffer without complaining. In a democracy, people complain without suffering.

Never ascribe to malice that which can be explained by stupidity.

A witty saying proves nothing.

It's better to burn out than it is to fade away.

Engineers think that equations are an approximation of reality. Physicists think reality is an approximation of the equations. Mathematicians never make the connection.

Nature neither rewards nor punishes actions. There are only consequences.

Men with a low opinion of mankind tend to have a high opinion of each other

Programmers don't sleep - they just park their heads

State run lotteries: think of them as tax breaks for the intelligent - Evan Leibovitch

If you voted for CHANGE... then you better start counting it!

"Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful . . . that's what matters to me."" Steven P. Jobs CEO of NeXT, Inc.

And there you have several miracles, first among them the wonder of a three-dimensional volume where black squiggles on white paper create worlds. -- Melvin Jules Bukiet, on books--

Sisko: ""What's happening out there?"" Dax: ""Subspace compression."" Sisko: ""Ahh, subspace compression. Dax: "Do you know what that is?" Sisko: "Just a guess here. Technobabble?" --ST:DS9 #2 The Siege

If you have a hammer, find a nail.

On religion - Where is the sea, said the fish, as they swam through it.

Methodology is to method as scientology is to science.

Engineering - How does it work? Science - Why does it work? Management - When will it work? Liberal Arts - Do you want fries with that?

A meeting is an event where the hours are lost, but the minutes are kept.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. - Edmund Burke

Mob rule isn't any prettier merely beacuse the mob calls iself a government.

Wilson's theory of relativity: If you go back far enough, we're all related.

Definition of leadership: Often in error; never in doubt!

IT IS NOT A PROBLEM OF WHETHER MACHINES THINK, BUT WHETHER MEN DO. - B.F. Skinner

...Then anyone who leaves behind him a written manual, and likewise anyone who receives it, in the belief that such writing will be clear and certain, must be exceedingly simple-minded... Plato, _Phaedrus_

When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that all of the dunces are in confederacy against him - Jonathon Swift

We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas 20 years later. -- Louis Aragon

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice." - Albert Einstein

Anything worth doing is worth overdoing - R. Heinlein

There is more to life than increasing its speed

Gravity is irrelevant Friction is irrelevant Mass is irrelevant Inertia is irrelevant Reality is irrelevant Excellent. Solve for k.

It's state of the art. But it doesn't work! That IS the state of the art.

The only ones who fail are those who do not try.

If you really want to know, go build it.

Aim for the impossible and you will achieve the improbable.

You need to spend less time reading research, and a bit more time thinking about what you are reading.

There is truth, but no one knows what it is.

How dull it is to pause, to make an end, To rust unburnish'd, not to shine in use! "Ulysses" - Alfred Lord Tennyson

The meaning of life is that it ends.

There is nothing worse than a brilliant image of a fuzzy concept. -

If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate.

God exists because mathematics is consistent, and the devil exists because we can't prove it. H. Weyl

I am not sure what condition the world we are inheriting is really in. I just have a fear of smokestacks, and I don't trust the men who feed their flames. JA

New Years Eve: when the beautiful promise of tomorrow is transformed into the ugly reality of today, and the disgusting miasma of now becomes the rosy nostalgic netherworlds of yesterday.

The NRA's Second Amendment is an empty cereal box in the market place of ideas. -- Charles "Cereal Killer" Schumer 4/5/95

Don't Tread on Me. Live Free or Die.

It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once. - David Hume

...it cannot be called ingenuity to kill one's fellow citizens, to betray friends, to be without faith, without mercy, without religion; by these means one can aquire power but not glory. - Nicolo Machiavelli

George Orwell was an optimist: "The Constitution is a radical document... it is the job of the Government to rein in people's rights." -President Bill Clinton

"two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do"

When correctly viewed, everything is lewd. -- Tom Lehrer

"Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance." -Kurt Vonnegut

"the opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference" --Elie Wiesel

"In 1979 a West Country sub-aqua club gained permission to dive in Britain's most inaccessible loch. Happy in the knowledge that they were the first ever people to explore the underwater world of remotest Scotland, they drove 740 miles, climbed 3,000 feet, put on their gear and plunged in to find that it was only four feet deep." - Stephen Pike _The Return Of Heroic Failures_

Death confronts us not unlike the historical battle scene that hangs on the wall of the classroom. It is our task to obscure or quite obliterate the picture by our deeds while we are still in this world. - Kafka

We must embrace the heresy of today, for it is the logic of tomorrow. - George Bernard Shaw.

Remember kids, take care and exercise your cerebral cortex EVERY DAY, or your brain will atrophy and wither away....

"It must be exciting to think that way, but a drag to have to deal with the clinical diagnosis."

"All would be well, All would be heavenly-- If the damned would only stay damned."--Charles Font, 1919

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others." --G. Marx

"You don't even have a clue as to which clue you're missing." -- Miss Manners

It is terrible to die of thirst in the ocean. Do you have to salt your truth so heavily that it does not even quench thirst any more?"

"Newspapers are unable, seemingly, to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilisation." -- George Bernard Shaw

The pursuit of truth is never a wast of time, though it take you far to unknown shores. --

"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of the pox !" "That, my Lord, depends on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress" John Wilkes to The Earl of Sandwich, Parliament, November 1763

"The blues isn't about feelin' better. It's about makin' other people feel worse." _ "Bleedin' Gums" Murphy

The best time to do nothing is whenever, and as often as you can...

"The only thing the Democrats have to offer is fear itself" -D. Armey(R)

"you commission members have no choice but to stay, no matter what sort of filth is turned loose by witnesses. that can't be easy. you must be very brave. i like to think of you as sort of sewer astronauts." -kurt vonnegut on the attorney general's commission on pornography

Beaten paths are for beaten men

Life is like a river -- there'll be rough patches and smooth patches, and hopefully lots of skinny-dipping babes on the way.

I wish my T.V. had a knob for intelligence, there's one marked "brightness", but it doesn't work. -- Gallagher

Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it. -Ferris Bueller

"Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never give in." - Winston Churchill

"The Universe is but a screen-saver, waiting for God to twitch." - Paul Eric Lagace', 1994

"We are in a society of denial. With products such as 'I Can't Believe Its Not Butter' and 'I can't Believe Its a Girdle' who could think otherwise?" -Marco Weesterweel, PhD

Error in REALITY.SYS. Run BIG_BANG.EXE (Y/N)?

Fiat justitia et pereat mundus (Let justice be done though the world perishes)

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy." --Benjamin Franklin

Most of American life is driving some where and then driving back wondering why the hell you went." - John Updike

"We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars. - Oscar Wilde

It's not that life is so short, you're just dead a really long time.

"In what distant deeps or skies Burnt the fire of thine eyes? On what wings dare he aspire? What the hand dare seize the fire?" - William Blake 1793(1794)

Success: the maximum utilization of what others can do for you

| "...before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that | | my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a | | mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? | | What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes such a | | flash of insight. The essentials of this affair lay deep under | | the surface, beyond my reach, and beyond my power of meddling." | | -Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness |

"There's a fine line between Saturday night and Sunday morning." -Jimmy Buffett

"Yes, it does kills brain cells - but only the weak ones."

"Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm." -- Emerson

"If all the world's a stage, then who's got my residuals?"

I prefer both my beer and my coffee to be dark and bitter; that way, they fit in so well with the rest of my life.

I've decided that I must be the Messiah; people expect me to work miracles, and when I don't, I get crucified.

"Countries used to be judged on weapons and money. Now it's moving bits"

We hear the sound, and alter our returning

"It's a lot of work to get up in front of a class and make it look like you know everything there is to know about something you know nothing about." Prof. Anonymous

"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything"

Information is not knowledge; knowledge is not wisdom; wisdom is not truth. Truth *must* be absolute; otherwise it is merely opinion.

Can it be that what man regards as evil, God regards as good? ---Liu Chi, Yu-li tzu

While none of the work we do is important, it is important that we do a great deal of it.

"Usenet is essentially Letters to the Editor without the editor. Editors don't appreciate this, for some reason." -- Larry Wall

Good grief! Another increase in the number of things I know nothing about.

"That great garden spider in the node of the world web - all this may occupy and worry the moralist, the artist, and the pious man..." - Nietzsche, The Advantage & Disadvantage of History for Life (1874)

As I have said before, I lack a requisite and fundamental arrogance...

If you are omniscient, prove it.

"To hold a man down, you have to get down on the ground with him." -George W. Carver.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but does not have an air force.

"It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg." ---- Thomas Jefferson

The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. And vice versa. ===Ed Redondo ============

"Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world."

Bureaucracy is as wrong as cancer, a turning away from the human evolutionary direction of infinite potentials and differentiation and independent spontaneous action, to the complete parasitism of a virus - William S. Burroughs, "Naked Lunch"

"The moment a mere numerical superiority by either states or voters in this country proceeds to ignore the needs and desires of the minority, and for their own selfish purpose or advancement, hamper or oppress that minority, or debar them in any way from equal privileges and equal rights--that moment will mark the failure of our constitutional system." Radio Broadcast: Oct 26, 1939

"A reactionary is a somnabulist walking backward."

Radio Broadcast: Mar 2, 1930

Franklin D. Roosevelt (1882 - 1945)

I'd rather that England should be free than that England should be compulsorily sober. With freedom we might in the end attain sobriety, but in the other alternative we should eventually lose both freedom and sobriety. W.C. Magee (Archbishop of York): Sermon at Peterborough, 1868.

Ambrose Bierce said that a conservative is a person "enamored of existing evils," while a liberal is one "who wishes to replace them with others."

"No truth will deny its own liberation" --author unknown

The road to misinformation is paved with selective statistics.

Did you know that 83% of all statistical quotes are made up?

"We must watch and pray, that our time may not be spent fruitlessly. When it is right and proper to speak, speak to edify." -- Thomas a Kempis, _Imitation of Christ_, I, 10

History shows again and again, how nature points out the folly of men... -Blue Oyster Cult

The greatest act of patriotism is to criticize one's country when it falters from the path of righteousness and justice.

To get one good idea, one must tolerate 1,000 bad ideas.

In capitalism man exploits man. In communism it's the other way around

"We did not ask you white men to come here. The Great Spirit gave us this country as a home...we do not interfere with you, and again you say, why do you not become civilized? We do not want your civilization! We would live as our fathers did, and their fathers before them."

Crazy Horse (Oglala Lakota)

The Devil may dwell in the fire of Hell, but he works in Redmond, WA.

When societies and cultures go to war, it is individuals who do the dying.

As Bishop Richard Cumberland wrote, "Every idea is the product of a single mind."

Insanity is not a state of mind, it's a way of life

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them. - Lenny Bruce

Liberal: a power worshipper without power. - George Orwell

A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment. - Willis Player

A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel. - Rober Frost

Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned. - Disk Gregory

Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies. - H.L. Mencken

... "I think not," said Descartes; and promptly disappeared. ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.12

"A true revolution cannot go against religion in its totality. If a revolution succeeds, it does so normally as a cathartic renewal of religion itself." - Aloysius Pieris

"Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves." -- William Pitt

When I was young my mother use to tell me that there were some ideas that were so stupid they could only be believed by an intellectual. At the time this seemed ridiculous; after all, weren't intellectuals intellectuals because they were smarter than other people? I have since learned better.

Most of the people in the world, as individuals, are decent people.

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. -- Ambrose Bierce

Striving for perfection is at the heart of all human endevours.

--Morality is only fear masquerading as honour -- Robbie Ganter

The concept of progress acts as a protective mechanism to shield us from the terrors of the future. - DUNE -

*"In the topography of intellection, knowledge is ignorance surrounded by laughter." (Charles Fort)*

When elephants fight, it is the the grass that suffers.

I had something very important to say but as soon as I started typing, my implants began buzzing so loudly that I could no longer concentrate. When I changed my thoughts, the buzzing went away. This seemed to please them immensely.

In every colour, there's the light Don't be afraid to be weak - don't In every stone sleeps a crystal be too proud to be strong - just Remember the Shaman when he said look in to your heart, my friend 'Man is the dream of the dolphin' That will be the return to yourself E:N:I:G:M:A The return to innocence

As time divides, we watch, we wait...

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity

Time is like the tide. Blue.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day...But give a man a gun and others will feed him for life

When are the world's political parties going to get appropriate symbols: snake, louse, jackal, outhouse, trash can, clown face, dildo, dollar bill with wings on it? --- P. J. O'Rourke

I learned something here today. Nothing I do and Nothing I own can remake the past -- Buaku

There is no "why". Humanity, just like every other critter is subject to the mathematics of trial and error.

Q: So where do aliens come from? A: They come from Pinewood Studios in England.

And Price-Waterhouse spends 45,000 manhours examining the books of the 103rd Congress and decides "Who knows what happened here? The Books sure don't tell us."

"Everyone spoke of an information overload, but what there was in fact was a non-information overload." - Richard Saul Wurman

They say the meek shall inherit the earth... ..I'd rather be strong and go to heaven!

Just because the Net makes it easy to be obnoxious without feeling the consequences doesn't mean we should give in to the temptation to be rude!! - April H. Olberding

"If you think there are no new frontiers, watch a boy ring the front doorbell on his first date." - Olin Miller

Some people believe in windows They also believe that the earth is flat

"Linux is stable, Windoze is the stuff you find on the floor of a stable."

The advancement and diffusion of knowledge is the only guardian of true liberty. -- James Madison

"With an ounce of pain, I wield a ton of rage" -Soundgarden

I am Pentium of Borg. Division is futile. You will be approximated.

"There's only two things in life ... but I forget what they are" - John Hiatt

All I want is an opportunity to prove that money doesn't buy happiness - Joris Zwart

"One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture and, if possible, speak a few reasonable words." - Johann W. von Goethe

It is the season of fear in the nation of terror.

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." - George Carlin

"We think there is a parallel between federal involvement in education and the decline in profit over recent years." - Ronald Reagan, 1983

Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There's always one more bug.

"Soul is when you stop playing the music, and it starts playing you" - Me

World Domination is not just a job, it's a hobby as well

I am a menace to my own destiny

Maybe going camping might provide a badly needed dose of perspective? The radiation from your computer setup is affecting your mind" [Circa 1994 - Universe aka ANI-Failure]

"I think there is a world market for about five computers." -Thomas J. Watson, 1943 Chairman of the Board of IBM

Castles in the air - they are so easy to take refuge in. And so easy to build, too. -Ibsen, "The Master Builder"

I book is meant to be read, if it isn't, it will die, and so will we.

"You know, people are always extolling "truth" and "real life" and "truth is beauty". I don't think that; I don't think that that's beauty. You can't really come face to face with reality too frequently or for too long a time because it'll wipe you out. It's too brutal; it's too terrible a thing." -Woody Allen in Rolling Stone

We are the Neanderthals of the future

"White man came and brought god. Poor little God couldn't travel by himself..." - Anonymous Elder

"It was a woman who drove me to drink - and, you know, I never even thanked her." -W.C. Fields

Jone's Motto: Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

"Virtuous motives, trammeled by inertia and timidity, are no match for armed and resolute wickedness." -- W. S. Churchill

"It's not pollution that's harming our environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."Dan Quayle

"A woman is like a dresser...some man always goin' through her drawers." -Blind Lemon Pledge

Chance favors the prepared mind. -- Louis Pasteur

Daly City California: almost San Francisco, but with parking and lower car insurance rates

'I shall never hope to hope again.' - ME

"Dig for me the narrow bed, now I am bereft. All my pretty hates are dead, and what have I left. -Dorothy Parker, from "Wail"

"I feel very old sometimes.....I carry on and would not like to die before having emptied a few more buckets of shit on the heads of my fellow man." Gustave Flaubert

"The storyteller makes no choice Soon you will not hear his voice His job is to shed light And not to master." -- Robert Hunter

..."Such giddiness of heart and brain Comes seldom save from rage and pain"... from "Christabel," Coleridge

"I was put in this world to accomplish a certain number of things and I am so far behind right now that I will never die."

Such a price The gods exact for Song: To become what we Sing

Those who love sausage, the law, and holy canon should never watch any of them being made,,,,,

The only graceful way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved. -- Russell Lynes, American editor and author.

"All that was required of them was a primitive patriotism which could be appealed to whenever it was necessary to make them accept longer working hours or shorter rations. And even when they became discontented, as they sometimes did, their discontent led nowhere, because, being without general ideas, they could only focus it on petty specific grievances. The larger evils invariably escaped their notice." -- George Orwell, 1984

The paradox about paradoxes is that "They themselves are not paradoxical." - John Berndt

... value-choices are merely preferences that cannot be subjected to intelligent and shared examination. (This is what economics does as a matter of principle.) To define the term `rationality' or `reason' to exclude reasoning about matters of value is to demean language and to be false to experience. -- James Boyd White, _When words lose their meaning_

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.

Too young to be respected; Too old to not be taken seriously; INVINCIBLE!; Fear was just a word in the dictionary; Life was a right, not a gift; Death was only a concept; STRENGTH!--Nikon F4s ad 1992

"It seems to me that our large goal is to find the ways to help our children become humane and strong." - Dr Haim Ginott quoted by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

Quisquis amat dictis absentum rodere vitam hac mensa indignam noverit esse sibi

"He who enjoys idle gossip Is clearly unworthy of this table"

"Nil admirari prope res est una, Numici, solaque quae possit facere et servare beatum." - Horace Epi. I.6

He's fine, ma'am, his brain is as smooth as a baby's bottom.

Any excuse will serve a tyrant. -- Aesop

"Sir, you and all others who are looking for a technical fix to an ethical dilemma are doomed to disappointment."

Imagination is more important than knowledge. -(Albert Einstein)

Kill your television!

Keep up the fight or lose the right

I love my country ...but I fear my government

"You weren't chosen because you are the best pilot in the Air Force. You were chosen because you are the class clown and frankly, you're expendable."

We're in the clutches of a bunch of folks trying to turn the U.S. into a third world country. Two hundred billionaires and 260 million poor people. And they haven't done enough damage yet to be beaten. - Garrison Keillor on the Republican Congress.......

"If you wanna live life on your own terms, you gotta be willing to crash and burn!"

Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.

"It's not what ahead of us and its not what's behind us, but what's inside us that counts" - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Is God a performance artist? -- Michael C Tiernan

"We have arrived at the megabyte millenium, using our sophisticated worldwide communications system to talk dirty to strangers." - Ellen Goodman, The Boston Globe

"Human errors can only be avoided if one can avoid the use of humans"

There is no such thing as bad data, only data from bad homes.

2nd Century thoughts on MTV: "There is no public entertainment which does not inflict spiritual damage" - Tertullian

"We, the people, are not free. Our democracy is but a name. We vote? What does that mean? We choose between Tweedledum and Tweedledee." -- Helen Keller

"Kinky: What I do. Perverted: What you do that I won't."

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" Hebrews 11:1

"There is no knowledge that is not power." -MK3 by Midway

"See no evil...well, maybe just a little...yeah!" --Joel, "Women of the Prehistoric Planet," MST3000

A computer was once programmed to invent new names for drugs. It came up with "damatol". -- Ben Carter

"Listen, strange women lying in ponds, distributing swords, is no basis for a system of government!" -- Peasant, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

"More matter, with less art." --Hamlet

"Poi s'accose nel foco che gli affina" - Dante

Law of conservation of confusion : The total amount of confusion in this world remains constant. It just gets shifted around.

The grass may look greener on the other side, but it's just as hard to cut! Little Richard

The problem with instant gratification is that it takes too long...

I don't think God put me on this planet to judge others. I think he put me on this planet to gather specimens and take them back to my home planet. - Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy

"The rich stay healthy and the sick stay poor..." -- U2 'I Believe In Love'

What is good, Phaerdus, and what is not good. Need we ask anyone to tell us these things?

Make Hardware as simple as possible and no simpler - Einstein

"Deserves death! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement." -- Tolkien

It doesn't matter who you are, or what you've done, or think you can do. There's a confrontation with destiny awaiting you. Somewhere, there is a chili you cannot eat. -- Daniel Pinkwater, "A Hot Time in Nairobi"

Feminism: `I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat...' R E B E C C A W E S T

"There must have been a moment in the beginning when we could have said 'no.' Somehow we missed it. Well, we'll know better next time..." - "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead"

Calm Down! It's only ones and zeroes.

Keine Schoenheit Ohne Gefahr

"Sorry" isn't good enough; you have to stop screwing up. -S. Manchester

That critical period in matrimony is breakfast time.

"The future, whatever else it may be, is always infintely, flagrantly, more peculiarly strange than the products of our imagination." - William Gibson

"Any man can understand the pain of childbirth. Just pull your upper lip over your forehead." - Groucho

All science is either physics or stamp collecting. -- E. Rutherford

"If we maintain our faith in God, our love of freedom, and superior global air power, I think we can look to the future with confidence" -- Stewart Woodruff

"Repetition does not establish validity." - Souder's Law

"Wisdom is counter intuitive."

What part of "...shall not be infringed." don't you understand?

"Not all that is valuable is gold..."

"The theory of economic growth may be doomed on a finite planet."

"You can never browse enough."

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know" - Mark Twain

"Knowing how things work is the basis for appreciation, and is thus a source of civilized delight." -- William Safire

The joy of engineering is to find a straight line on a double logarithmic diagram.

Let us pray: What a Great System. Please Do Not Crash.

If you ain't living on the edge, you're taking up too much room.

...and it's finished! It only has to be written. -- Karl Lehenbauer

"No, no, no, don't tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to." -- Buckaroo Bonzai to assistant during brain surgery

"Do not adjust your mind, there is a fault in reality": on a wall many years ago in Oxford.

~~~~~ Jack Handey from Saturday Night Live always says: ~~~~~~ "I don't think God put me on this planet to judge others. I think he put me on this planet to gather specimens and take them back to my home

When upgrading to Windows 95, remember the lyrics that Microsft removed from the Rolling Stones' 'Start Me Up' theme song! "You make a grown man Cry!"

"In English, there is no double positive that makes a negative." "Yeah, right."

"Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid." Frank Zappa (b. 1940), U.S. rock musician. The Real Frank Zappa Book, ch. 8 (1989; written with Peter Occhiogrosso).

I own an Alfa to keep me poor in a monetary sense, but rich in so many other ways.

The grass may look greener on the other side, but it's just as hard to cut! Little Richard

You know you're getting older when happy hour is a nap! Desperately seeking Snoozin'.

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer.


Copyright © 1996 ... All rights reserved.
Last Modified: ...